This is amazing. And I would add: FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF.
I have my own hair trigger about boundaries and feeling manipulated, and also have big reactions around people invalidating/dismissing/diminishing my feelings. My reactions are way out of proportion to the incidents, and I often end up bawling on my floor and then feel traumatized for a day or two. I keep hoping that I'll eventually get less reactive. But so far that's just meant I'm wrecked for a couple of days instead of a week. I guess that's progress?? Sigh.
Kristi thank you so much for sharing how much you "get it." I'm so sorry that you do but it helps me a little to hear it from another person. A couple days is better than a week, yes. Still so unfair.
Because I don’t know. This was a couples therapist for a relationship that is no longer. I have spent time dissecting it and figuring out what I need to do (and not do) with that info.
Ultimately, I said what I needed to and don’t know their side, nor do I want to at this point.
No doubt the fact that it was a couples situations adds a layer of complexity. The short version is that I suspect (as does my therapist) that there was counter transference, possibly related to the shared identity they had with my partner.
Other than that, I would prefer not to discuss what happened on a public forum.
In my state, I had the choice to send a report to the licensing board but chose not to. But not all places do and the rules are different than other medical professionals. It’s a shame because we trust people with our mental health and the consequences are grave when that trust is betrayed.
I reported to both of the guy’s licensing boatds 6 years ago. One took four years and gave him probation and the other is still pending—6 years and the guy has never lost access to vulnerable people 💔
Thank you, Liz! Your honesty is hitting home with me. I appreciate you.
Thank you so much for saying this and for reading. I appreciate you too.
This is amazing. And I would add: FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF.
I have my own hair trigger about boundaries and feeling manipulated, and also have big reactions around people invalidating/dismissing/diminishing my feelings. My reactions are way out of proportion to the incidents, and I often end up bawling on my floor and then feel traumatized for a day or two. I keep hoping that I'll eventually get less reactive. But so far that's just meant I'm wrecked for a couple of days instead of a week. I guess that's progress?? Sigh.
Kristi thank you so much for sharing how much you "get it." I'm so sorry that you do but it helps me a little to hear it from another person. A couple days is better than a week, yes. Still so unfair.
I’ve dealt with a therapist skirting some ethical lines— probably not aware of their own biases.
All I can say is, it’s really confusing when those lines are blurred.
You think they’re unaware of their biases. What makes you give them the benefit of the doubt?
Because I don’t know. This was a couples therapist for a relationship that is no longer. I have spent time dissecting it and figuring out what I need to do (and not do) with that info.
Ultimately, I said what I needed to and don’t know their side, nor do I want to at this point.
No doubt the fact that it was a couples situations adds a layer of complexity. The short version is that I suspect (as does my therapist) that there was counter transference, possibly related to the shared identity they had with my partner.
Other than that, I would prefer not to discuss what happened on a public forum.
This went pretty far beyond that.
That’s my point—if skirting ethical issues was so hard for me, this feels like it would be spectacularly difficult.
I’m sad to report it’s more common than you think and there is no oversight from the licensing boards
In my state, I had the choice to send a report to the licensing board but chose not to. But not all places do and the rules are different than other medical professionals. It’s a shame because we trust people with our mental health and the consequences are grave when that trust is betrayed.
I reported to both of the guy’s licensing boatds 6 years ago. One took four years and gave him probation and the other is still pending—6 years and the guy has never lost access to vulnerable people 💔
Ooof.